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Nielsen Predicts Roseanne’s New Show Will “Obliterate The View” In That Time Slot

2 months ago 1.1 K

Nielsen, the ratings company that tracks how well television shows do in real time, says the upcoming battle between Roseanne’s new morning show and ‘The View” will be a shootout at first, but ultimately “Raising the Barr” will triumph.

“Roseanne will use a similar format,” said Nielsen CEO Joe Barron, “with one major difference: she won’t have guests that most people dislike.”

The View, and its panel of nasty hosts, have a habit of trying to book people to argue with rather than people to talk to. Liam Neeson says he’ll never go back. Neither will Jon Voight.

“They aren’t there to debate or talk, they’re there to scream at you,” Voight said, “and they don’t support Israel.”

Nielsen’s predictions are correct more than 97 percent of the time. They were the ones that said the MASH finale would break 11 million viewers and they were right. They also filed the final numbers for the Trump inauguration and found that Sean Spicer is an idiot. Period.

Roseanne’s show will debut this fall with its first show featuring musical guest Kid Rock, celebrity guest Scott Baio, and a cooking segment dedicated to getting that perfect Walter White blue from your trailer’s kitchen.

The View plans to invite Tomi Lahren so they can make fun of her new face. Apparently, it’s now okay for leftists to shame people who go from shiny plump fivehead to over-compensating eyebrows and an obvious chin job. God Bless America.